Men, Women are not Adversaries

I was really bored watching all news channels selling 'Rape' for TRP. Thanks a lot to Team India for winning the last few matches, Arvind Kejriwal for his continuous fight against corruption and our Bollywood celebrities for bringing the change in telecast by coming up on all the news channel, at some time or another. For a few hours only, but they do change the telecast, from fictional rape, with fictional characters and fictional plots with fictional victims but real accused, the Male sex as a whole. The most unfortunate thing is that ‘The Rape Show’ has already been planned to be telecasted asap cricket fever gets over. TRP TRP TRP. That’s all the media cares about. And hilariously 'We the people', amusingly the sovereign one, follow the crowd like animals.

One day the media shows 10 women protesting against a rapper singer Honey Singh for singing a lousy song. But it shouldn't surprise you knowing, that probably they are the same women who would, while sitting in one of many kitty parties, enjoy listening to the same ‘Ashleel’ song and sing it to be the point of attention. Following these well fed and highly paid protesting ladies, other girls and guys fall in for the ‘Aandolan’ against the government for the, so called, raised cause. I wonder if Damini would have belonged to rural Rajasthan, then probably she would have been another Bhanwari Devi (the famous Sathin Case), where the patriarchy was on its extreme. And because of all these past acts of men, my ideology is little tilted towards feminism, but again another problem rises there. Most of the feminist are unaware of the fact that feminism is for bringing equality and not giving an upper hand to any particular sex. Meanwhile, what all these protestors do is just ‘Hamari Maangein Poori Karo’ and ‘Indian Government haai haai’. And how innocent we are, following their leadership, and making them our Sarojini Naidu and Anne Besent.

The irony of this situation is that, the crowd there is shouting for Justice to be done, but meanwhile if a beggar would pass by the crowd, they will give them nothing but abuses, most of the time filthy one; if a hungry mother passes by asking for some money, to feed her only child, who has not eaten for days, the crowd will stroke her off; and all this because these problems are not the issue they are protesting for. That beggar or the hungry homeless poor mother should have been Raped brutally first and then only that crowd would have held its hand out for support.

I noticed people using Social Networking sites for posting pictures of the deceased, her mother and her father, and even asking others, the users, to share and like it, swearing in the name of their mother and sisters. But most of them are unaware of the fact that there were, and at times still, numerous fake photos are being used for the above cause. One of the Keralian girl’s family and friends were shocked seeing her picture on the FB, as the rape victim of 'Delhi Kand'. The father had to file complaint and on the order of Court, Police wrote to FB to remove said pictures. Another rumour being posted by the FB users is related to an unknown Section 233 of IPC according to which 'a girl who suspects a man to be a rapist can do anything to him, including killing him, no charges would be filed on her'. This really made me laugh for how jobless and senseless people could be in this country. Till my knowledge of law goes the said section still deals with counterfeiting of currency, but anyway I am not going to get into validity of such rumoured law, because until parliament really passes it, it is just a rumour.

One of my friend posted many facts regarding crime against men on FB and the conclusion he reached was really shocking. He raised a question to the fact that when protest took against Gang Rape in Delhi, men were there were ever it was happening, to support and demand justice but when issues about violation of Men's Rights and unjust treatment at laws were brought up, through his posts, why not even 'one' female friend supported it?

Now let us talk over available empirical data. As the laws are absent regarding any particular protection of men, separate data as to number of crimes against men never comes out. In 2005 a total of 22,64,000 cases were registered as crime against men, while number of cases in crime against women were just 1,55,000. The difference has increased like hell in past 5 years. In 2010-11, 62,433 married men committed suicide while only 32,582 married women committed suicide. Yet whenever a married woman dies due to any reason, be it accident, illness or commits suicide due to any reason unknown, it is converted into dowry death and yet such large scale suicides by men are not even noticed let alone imparting justice to them. In this democratic nation, even animals have their own welfare ministry but men, who contribute to over 70% to the economy, don't have any official institution to look after them. A study done by Save India Family Foundation (SIFF) over the data provided by National Crime Report Bureau (NCRB) says that, during 2005-2008 about 22,000 men ended their life because of reverse dowry harassment, as against 6,800 women who committed suicide over dowry harassment issue during the same period. Interestingly, in all 6800 cases husbands have been put behind bar, without investigation and in over 68% cases were found innocent of the crime charged. While among 22,000 cases, where men died, only 6 cases were registered, which leaves no need to say that no proper investigation was done and thus none lead to conviction.

I don't want to blame the female sex as a whole for anything. But I would ask the same support from them, what they get from us. I second to the opinion of my friend who asked women that all the males are not criminals. They are your father, brother, husband, son and moreover human beings too. And yeah it’s high time that we, the opposite sex, should start working together instead of working against each other.

Until this issue was raised up, when people were crucified or were punished according to customary practice in north Pakistan, we stood up against it promoting ourselves as the 'civic society' with better standard of living, better protection of law to everyone, and moreover protector of basic human rights. But on this issue, I have seen people go emotional to the extent and forgetting each and everything they once stood for.

My countrymen, this is Republic of India. Please don't try to convert it into some barbaric nation with unjust laws, because the politicians can do anything to be on the chair or to win it. Mind it no punishment can deter the happening of crime. US execute offenders more often than India, but still women are safer in this nation. As it is conviction in rape cases is less, and if death penalty is the punishment then it will fall down as the case should be proved beyond reasonable doubt and then the doctrine of rarest of the rare case for awarding death sentence. People should instead demand for upholding the suggestions given by the Law Commission of India over Rape and Allied offenses where term of punishment had to be increased, and ask the government why these changes have not been brought yet. Even the Verma Committee recommended life sentence as maximum punishment. Just imagine if death would be the punishment for rape and murder both, then the rapists would choose to kill the victim as that would lead to one less witness, with same punishment. We need to be more reasonable in our demands. We should demand for the change in IPC which itself is too patriarch in nature, one example being the offense of adultery which is equivalent to using of someone's chattel without permission.

Rise for the right cause and demand things which are just and reasonable, and the whole community will support you. But the way it is going, is not the right way. Parents please stop teaching boys about masculinity and girls about ‘ijjat-aabroo’, they both are needed to be brought up in the same manner to bring real equality. Unfortunately, this is where it all begins, our very own sweet-home. So the change should be brought from here only. If we want our male offspring to be like Lord Rama, maryada-purshottam, then we should be ready that the females will be abandoned like Goddess Sita. It’s high time when we have to wake up and fight for whole of our race, regardless of which gender group we belong to, against few deviant evils.

Unless each of us changes, the society can't. Ye samaj humse hai, hum samaj se nahi; Hum jaise hain, samaj waisa hin dikhega (it’s we who constitutes society, society doesn't form us; what we are, is reflected in the surrounding). Change yourself, Change the nation. As Gandhi said long back: ‘Be the Change You Want to See in the World’.

(originally published in Political and Business Daily, February 17, 2013.)